adjective robot

oh hai!

i bet you thought i forgot about this here tumblr… well guess what, i did!

pretty sure that if i didn’t own this here domain, this here tumblr would have slid down into obscurity. i bet you even forgot you subscribed to it. if you even subscribed to it.

i’ve pretty much let everything go. this here spot, my thought out blog, my im has been turned off for months, days between tweets.

the only thing that has not been lagging? my need for facebook. i am addicited to mafia wars, and epic pet wars, and well, pretty much that’s it. i’m very into mindless these days.

graduation is a whole seven days away, and i can’t wait to get out of here except for the part that it means that i’ve got to find not just a job but a career, and there’s this guy that i sorta want to plan the rest of my life around…and no it’s not jesus, sorry…so there is this added stress to try to ensure that we at least end up within a drivable distance of each other if the dreaded horror of us not being in the same city, same apartment, comes to pass.

i’d really like to stay and get my masters, though it seems that academic and funny will just never go together, and if i write a paper that is thoughtful and insightful and humerous it’s destined for a grade no higher than a B-, and i’m pretty sure i can’t spend another two years writing things that don’t make me laugh a little on the inside. i’m sorry academic writing has to be a bore, but i guess it does. it makes me a little sad.

maybe one day i’ll come back and right this wrong, but not until i find a program that lets me be funny. i think we’d have way more english majors if we were allowed to be funny. and i mean english major funny, which really still means the rest of the world will still think we’re crazy people who read old books for no good reason, and won’t get any of the jokes that make us crack up with side-splitting laughter. like naming a guy we don’t like ahab or bartleby, because they embody those characters and everyone knows what we’re talking about.

so, here i go out into the real world with no fall-back plan, except maybe taco bell. i was a really great assistant manager. though i suppose they’d think i was over qualified now since last time i had that job i didn’t even have an associates degree, and now i’ve leapt over that hedge to a BA and a certificate in an industry that is slow to change, and will be slowly crushed by amazon because we’re too slow to get there.

too rambly for you? too bad. i’m back. tell your friends. run for the hills.

these words are going to fall out faster than ever before. i’m searching for my voice. i lost it somewhere, and i’m going to find it and beat it into submission for running away. unfortunately, i think it has multiple personalites.

no wait, that’s a good thing. as long as i don’t, we’re all good.

omg, what?

i can’t remember the last time i blogged anywhere, let alone tumblr in particular.

i can’t say that i’ve been writing. maybe only the tinyist bit of reading. more into throwing parties and seeing people, and playing games, and procrastination like there’s a million tomorrows.

classes have finally started. who takes physiology for an elective—meaning that the credits are absolutely of no use anywhere for anything? oh, that’s right. i do.

so i’ve been reading that textbook. taking notes like crazy. feeling for the first time ever that i’m in a real university, not just some rinky-dink junior college (and let’s contemplate this—not until my last semester at Chico State, with my lowest unit count since i was 18 and didn’t know what i was doing, do i finally feel like i’m actually at a university somewhere).

my eye is gimpy with something, and looks hideous. to the point that e wanted to wake me up in the middle of the night to tell me how bad it is. thanks. appreciate that.

and i still need to write 800 words on hestia vs. icarus. um, yeah. did i mention that i have to do it over on a new blog somewhere else? my multicultural lit teacher is all about the blogs. at blogster. s.i.g.h.

i think i’m going to read my feeds and procrastinate some more.

i’m feeling very disconnected from the world right now.

with classes not in session, no job yet, and friends running in and out of town, i find my self “nesting” with e, not really wanting to do anything else but sit on the bed with him all day long, alternating between reading, sleeping, and cuddling.

i’m not usually this girl. you know the one: she ditches all her friends for the boy, doesn’t return calls and generally forgets the outside world extists in favor of the world inside her head. or bed.

good thing the roommate came home to force me—us—out of this bubble we’re living in.

but i still don’t want to do anything. at all.

sigh. i’ll find something to snap me out of this.

i have $11 left on an iTunes gift card.

joshawesome:

benjaminandhisblog:

joshawesome:

What should I get?

Reblog or IM me on AIM.

sn: joshanastasia

Andy Frasco’s album ‘Growth & Progress”

Oh wow, that’s some good shit. Thank you for suggesting him!

i’m pretty much thinking you need the game Dr. Awesome. I mean, the name alone is worth a dollar.

Dear tumblr,

joshawesome:

You know I love you but I’m taking the night off. I have plans with an awesome book. I will be on aim if you miss me and need some awesome in your life tonight.

With all my love,

Josh

P.S. I was just joking about the awesome in your life. You all are already awesome. For serious.

dear josh,

I can’t say that you are the awesome in my life, because it’s so full of awesomeness right now, but you were the start of all this awesome. i wasn’t awesome before i met you, all those internet years ago (what, 2005? something crazy long ago), but because of you, i am the awesome that i am today.

and can i just say, i’m so awesome, i’m aweful.

so, go ahead and take the night off. i’ll catch up the awesome slack for you. because you rock.

sincerely,

me

i’ve been absent from the interwebs lately, and some might say it’s ‘cause of the ridiculously awesome boyfriend i seem to have aquired (after much hard work, i must say). and it’s not him.

so seriously not. because did i mention the ridiculusly awesome he posesses? because it’s like his own personal mission to make sure that i do everything i set out to do (am will get her scarf sooner because of him), so if i ever said anything to the effect of “hey, i really wish i wrote more,” every night i’d get a “did you write today? you should write something before you go to bed. weren’t you thinking about a poem this morning?” sorta dialog from him where i’d be making vague agreeing noises because really, at that point in the evening, i’d really rather be falling asleep listening to sports center.

so if it’s not him, it must be me. and i don’t know what this is. because i’m always thinking about things to write about—we had our sigma tau open mic night and that usually spawns at least three poems and maybe a story and a blog post, but this time? nada.

but i have had poem ideas. and story ideas. and e’s so going to be on me in january to write, because mistakenly told him in the car a few weeks ago that i should write a book to pay off my student loans. and he agreed with me. asked me if i had an idea.

and of course i said yes, because i do, but that basicly the book was based on us and how we got together (because it was complicated and messy and internet related), and he was all “go ahead. that’s a great idea.”

what kind of guy, after the kind of rocky start we had, says “sure, write a story about that and how i didn’t know my own mind and the way you pursued me and i was just oblivious to the whole thing”

what kind of guy? oh yeah, a ridiculously awesome one. that’s right.

so, maybe i’ll start writing again. but maybe i’ll get a really awesome videogame for christmas, and that might distract me for all of break too. tough call really.

i should probably write, huh?