adjective robot

last night i dreamed that i was going to knit a sweater for my cousin— of course, in my dream he was...

Tue, 05 Jan 2010 05:19:46 -0800

last night i dreamed that i was going to knit a sweater for my cousin—

of course, in my dream he was five instead of 19. and for some reason, i was having a problem finding enough yarn in the same dye lot to make it (i only needed two balls).

i have now woken up with a hankering to make baby sweaters. or baby something, with all of the left-over balls of yarn i have from my christmas knitting. and no, there is no baby on the way.

but i’m sure someone is going to have one eventually, and then i’ll be ready.

i keep having the most random dreams. and the weirdest part? every time my dad shows up in one, i...

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 10:08:46 -0800

i keep having the most random dreams. and the weirdest part? every time my dad shows up in one, i know almost immediately it’s a dream, and do nothing to change it.

i have had oddly strange dreams my whole life, but since my dad died in may, they have moved to a whole new level. my dad isn’t the first person i know to have died, but he’s the only one who seems to take a bit part in my dreams frequently.

the first time he showed up, i dreamed it was a family gathering, and everyone was acting all normal. there my dad was, standing in the kitchen, talking to one of my aunts. no one seemed at all surprised about this, but i was gobsmacked. the only thing my internal monolog could say was “you know he’s dead, right? you know this is probably the last time he’ll be here” but no one knew that.

so for me, every time my dad pops up in the dream, i don’t try to change the dream in fear of him some how popping back out of it. but i do generally spend the rest of the dream hugging him, because that’s what i miss the most.

dad hugs.

you should get them while you can. they’re pretty awesome, and better in real life than in dreams.

turns out, this isn’t fun any more. i have a shitty part time job. the only job i’ve...

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 12:21:30 -0800

turns out, this isn’t fun any more.

i have a shitty part time job. the only job i’ve been able to find in the six months from graduation is nine hours a week at a box craft store, stocking shelves.

i would really like to feel like a productive, contributing adult to this here society.

i think i’ll go knit some mittens.

"The problem with rereading “Catcher in the Rye” is I start to talk like Holden does in..."

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 12:04:43 -0800

“The problem with rereading “Catcher in the Rye” is I start to talk like Holden does in my head - “goddamn lousy phonies” sort of thing”

- fourclover

I like lists. And it’s much easier to think in a list these days. So here. It’s...

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 14:43:51 -0700

I like lists. And it’s much easier to think in a list these days. So here. It’s exciting:

My brother just bought himself a new electric guitar and amp. I hope this means that he’s starting to get happy again. Also that he’ll finally take the rest of the musical crap lying around the house here home.
I’m still looking for a job. Sigh. I’m so ready to work.
I’ve convinced my mom to clean the garage with me this weekend. I’ve already done part. I hope we get to throw out some crap. I am not a packrat, and the amount of stuff cluttering up this place drives me nuts.
Video editing sucks on a laptop. I’ve been working on some homevideos from camping for a “reunion” party this weekend. Trying to cut four hours down to something managable. We’ll see.
I miss all my friends. YOU HEAR THAT? I MISS YOU!
I really want a strawberry shake.

I have the hiccups right now and it really sucks. Also sucky is that my macbook is semi-frozen while...

Sun, 02 Aug 2009 22:16:35 -0700

I have the hiccups right now and it really sucks. Also sucky is that my macbook is semi-frozen while I rip family videos and that I’m pretty sure no one is listening to me anymore.

My own fault for sure, if anyone ever was listening to begin with.

damnit. i stepped on a bee this morning. in the dining room. which is INDOORS. and there are no...

Sun, 19 Jul 2009 16:10:12 -0700

damnit. i stepped on a bee this morning. in the dining room. which is INDOORS. and there are no flowers about, so no good reason for a bee to be hanging out there. so, stepping on a bee=bee sting to the foot, and now it hurts. i’m so bitter.

just thought you all needed an update.

UrbanOutfitters.com > Robot Lamp Base i am pretty sure i...

Mon, 18 May 2009 14:07:37 -0700

UrbanOutfitters.com > Robot Lamp Base

i am pretty sure i just found my graduation present to myself.

oh hai! i bet you thought i forgot about this here tumblr… well guess what, i did! pretty sure...

Sun, 17 May 2009 20:54:37 -0700

oh hai!

i bet you thought i forgot about this here tumblr… well guess what, i did!

pretty sure that if i didn’t own this here domain, this here tumblr would have slid down into obscurity. i bet you even forgot you subscribed to it. if you even subscribed to it.

i’ve pretty much let everything go. this here spot, my thought out blog, my im has been turned off for months, days between tweets.

the only thing that has not been lagging? my need for facebook. i am addicited to mafia wars, and epic pet wars, and well, pretty much that’s it. i’m very into mindless these days.

graduation is a whole seven days away, and i can’t wait to get out of here except for the part that it means that i’ve got to find not just a job but a career, and there’s this guy that i sorta want to plan the rest of my life around…and no it’s not jesus, sorry…so there is this added stress to try to ensure that we at least end up within a drivable distance of each other if the dreaded horror of us not being in the same city, same apartment, comes to pass.

i’d really like to stay and get my masters, though it seems that academic and funny will just never go together, and if i write a paper that is thoughtful and insightful and humerous it’s destined for a grade no higher than a B-, and i’m pretty sure i can’t spend another two years writing things that don’t make me laugh a little on the inside. i’m sorry academic writing has to be a bore, but i guess it does. it makes me a little sad.

maybe one day i’ll come back and right this wrong, but not until i find a program that lets me be funny. i think we’d have way more english majors if we were allowed to be funny. and i mean english major funny, which really still means the rest of the world will still think we’re crazy people who read old books for no good reason, and won’t get any of the jokes that make us crack up with side-splitting laughter. like naming a guy we don’t like ahab or bartleby, because they embody those characters and everyone knows what we’re talking about.

so, here i go out into the real world with no fall-back plan, except maybe taco bell. i was a really great assistant manager. though i suppose they’d think i was over qualified now since last time i had that job i didn’t even have an associates degree, and now i’ve leapt over that hedge to a BA and a certificate in an industry that is slow to change, and will be slowly crushed by amazon because we’re too slow to get there.

too rambly for you? too bad. i’m back. tell your friends. run for the hills.

these words are going to fall out faster than ever before. i’m searching for my voice. i lost it somewhere, and i’m going to find it and beat it into submission for running away. unfortunately, i think it has multiple personalites.

no wait, that’s a good thing. as long as i don’t, we’re all good.

omg, what? i can’t remember the last time i blogged anywhere, let alone tumblr in...

Mon, 02 Feb 2009 08:24:11 -0800

omg, what?

i can’t remember the last time i blogged anywhere, let alone tumblr in particular.

i can’t say that i’ve been writing. maybe only the tinyist bit of reading. more into throwing parties and seeing people, and playing games, and procrastination like there’s a million tomorrows.

classes have finally started. who takes physiology for an elective—meaning that the credits are absolutely of no use anywhere for anything? oh, that’s right. i do.

so i’ve been reading that textbook. taking notes like crazy. feeling for the first time ever that i’m in a real university, not just some rinky-dink junior college (and let’s contemplate this—not until my last semester at Chico State, with my lowest unit count since i was 18 and didn’t know what i was doing, do i finally feel like i’m actually at a university somewhere).

my eye is gimpy with something, and looks hideous. to the point that e wanted to wake me up in the middle of the night to tell me how bad it is. thanks. appreciate that.

and i still need to write 800 words on hestia vs. icarus. um, yeah. did i mention that i have to do it over on a new blog somewhere else? my multicultural lit teacher is all about the blogs. at blogster. s.i.g.h.

i think i’m going to read my feeds and procrastinate some more.

i’m feeling very disconnected from the world right now. with classes not in session, no job...

Fri, 09 Jan 2009 21:43:46 -0800

i’m feeling very disconnected from the world right now.

with classes not in session, no job yet, and friends running in and out of town, i find my self “nesting” with e, not really wanting to do anything else but sit on the bed with him all day long, alternating between reading, sleeping, and cuddling.

i’m not usually this girl. you know the one: she ditches all her friends for the boy, doesn’t return calls and generally forgets the outside world extists in favor of the world inside her head. or bed.

good thing the roommate came home to force me—us—out of this bubble we’re living in.

but i still don’t want to do anything. at all.

sigh. i’ll find something to snap me out of this.

i have $11 left on an iTunes gift card.

Thu, 25 Dec 2008 21:17:02 -0800

joshawesome:

benjaminandhisblog:

joshawesome:

What should I get?

Reblog or IM me on AIM.

sn: joshanastasia

Andy Frasco’s album ‘Growth & Progress”

Oh wow, that’s some good shit. Thank you for suggesting him!

i’m pretty much thinking you need the game Dr. Awesome. I mean, the name alone is worth a dollar.

joshawesome: thenewfilosofee: my robot belt! Dude! That...

Wed, 24 Dec 2008 15:10:13 -0800

joshawesome:

thenewfilosofee:

my robot belt!

Dude! That rocks.

i need to find me one. sigh.

joshawesome: migsambo: Green Robot (via FFFFOUND!, photoholic)

Wed, 24 Dec 2008 09:58:54 -0800

joshawesome:

migsambo:

Green Robot (via FFFFOUND!, photoholic)

this almost makes up for being 168 miles from my favorite saturday night.

Sat, 20 Dec 2008 23:10:40 -0800

this almost makes up for being 168 miles from my favorite saturday night.

e: I think im going to head to bed now

me: alright
try not to miss me too much

e: If I don't go now i'll end up talking with you on here all night

me: very true

e: Night

me: night

it always makes my night when he pops up online randomly, usually before he heads out with his at-home crew. ten minutes of chatting with him makes the whole night worth it.

Dear tumblr,

Sat, 20 Dec 2008 22:46:33 -0800

joshawesome:

You know I love you but I’m taking the night off. I have plans with an awesome book. I will be on aim if you miss me and need some awesome in your life tonight.

With all my love,

Josh

P.S. I was just joking about the awesome in your life. You all are already awesome. For serious.

dear josh,

I can’t say that you are the awesome in my life, because it’s so full of awesomeness right now, but you were the start of all this awesome. i wasn’t awesome before i met you, all those internet years ago (what, 2005? something crazy long ago), but because of you, i am the awesome that i am today.

and can i just say, i’m so awesome, i’m aweful.

so, go ahead and take the night off. i’ll catch up the awesome slack for you. because you rock.

sincerely,

i’ve been absent from the interwebs lately, and some might say it’s ‘cause of the...

Fri, 19 Dec 2008 22:50:00 -0800

i’ve been absent from the interwebs lately, and some might say it’s ‘cause of the ridiculously awesome boyfriend i seem to have aquired (after much hard work, i must say). and it’s not him.

so seriously not. because did i mention the ridiculusly awesome he posesses? because it’s like his own personal mission to make sure that i do everything i set out to do (am will get her scarf sooner because of him), so if i ever said anything to the effect of “hey, i really wish i wrote more,” every night i’d get a “did you write today? you should write something before you go to bed. weren’t you thinking about a poem this morning?” sorta dialog from him where i’d be making vague agreeing noises because really, at that point in the evening, i’d really rather be falling asleep listening to sports center.

so if it’s not him, it must be me. and i don’t know what this is. because i’m always thinking about things to write about—we had our sigma tau open mic night and that usually spawns at least three poems and maybe a story and a blog post, but this time? nada.

but i have had poem ideas. and story ideas. and e’s so going to be on me in january to write, because mistakenly told him in the car a few weeks ago that i should write a book to pay off my student loans. and he agreed with me. asked me if i had an idea.

and of course i said yes, because i do, but that basicly the book was based on us and how we got together (because it was complicated and messy and internet related), and he was all “go ahead. that’s a great idea.”

what kind of guy, after the kind of rocky start we had, says “sure, write a story about that and how i didn’t know my own mind and the way you pursued me and i was just oblivious to the whole thing”

what kind of guy? oh yeah, a ridiculously awesome one. that’s right.

so, maybe i’ll start writing again. but maybe i’ll get a really awesome videogame for christmas, and that might distract me for all of break too. tough call really.

i should probably write, huh?

joshawesome: blocksonblox: novelme: yeachum:hit-or-miss:hey-in...

Sat, 29 Nov 2008 15:57:05 -0800

joshawesome:

blocksonblox:

novelme:

yeachum:hit-or-miss:hey-insomia:tender:

Declaration of Romantic Intent by the Bureau of Communication, (via www.designformankind.com)

I found this on stumble, but never posted it. great idea.

this could have come in handy between me and e, when we were in the middle of our “what the fuck are we doing” stage.

today is not the day to get distracted. watershed has to be at the printers tomorrow morning. i have...

Sun, 16 Nov 2008 12:18:26 -0800

today is not the day to get distracted.

watershed has to be at the printers tomorrow morning. i have a huge copyediting project that is only half way done if you’re very generous about what half is. and tonight i’m meeting e’s mom for the first time.

so instead of getting shit done, knocking items off the list of things that have to be done if i still want that A grade, i’m writing a treaties that won’t see the light of day for a few weeks yet.

love.

and we can all thank my mom, for putting more stress on me about tonight’s dinner than even i could imagine on my own.

“take out your piercings, talk slow. you could be meeting your future mother-in-law.”

omfg, seriously? thanks. because today wasn’t stressfull enough already.

Milestone #1

Wed, 12 Nov 2008 15:33:53 -0800

joshawesome:

Just a bit ago, my mom referred to me as “he”. This is coming from a person who went ballistic when I came out as transgender and hasn’t talked about it since that day five years ago.

My thoughts on it: holy fucking wow.

yay! always good when moms start to accept us for who we are, not who they want us to be.